Happy first week of the New Year!
As of this post, I am well into my 18th week and let me tell you, growing a human has not gotten any easier over the past 4 1/2 months. At least not for me. The changes in my body are both wondrous and terrifying. I feel powerful and strong but I would be remiss not to mention/mourn the loss of the body I knew. The new aches and pains and cramps are all part of the beautiful process, I fully admit to having been heard many a time referring to my pregnancy as “the ghetto” and boy oh boy has it been wearing me down.
On the plus side, I AM GROWING A HUMAN! I am feeling very “I am woman, hear me roar!” at the moment. I’ve always known that women are amazing beings, but watching your body grow and feeling a baby move inside of you is some next level sh*t.
Here are a few things about being pregnant that no amount of research will prepare you for:
No joke. I’m pretty sure those dainty little Victorian-era teacups would fit nicely on them. About 5 weeks into being pregnant I started noticing my areolas changing in size and color and it freaked. me. out. Not only were my boobs getting heavier and tender, but now when i look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize my own nipples! Knowing that their color and size change are nothing more than a circular landing strip for my baby’s mouth already has me feeling like walking milk machine.
Gone are the days of beautiful dewy skin. Instead, I’m left looking dull and dusty. Everyone’s skin is different during pregnancy but why did mine have to take a turn for the worst?! I feel like I’m hitting puberty or something. I am DEFINITELY blaming it on my little human’s surplus of hormones.
This one really took me out. I get “advice” on how to be a mom at least once a day on my social media. While I appreciate every learning experience and chance for someone to tell me their findings about the whole being pregnant/raising a little process, I am SHOCKED at how smothering it can feel. Especially when it’s coming from people you barely speak to. Social media is a strange place. Also, the idea that my own maternal instincts or you know, common sense wouldn’t be prevalent is this new chapter of my life is downright comical.
I worry about everything now. Mostly, I’m worrying about the future of my little bean. The United States of America isn’t actually the best place on Earth these days and I find myself stressing over things that never used to pop into my head. Vaccinations, Day Care, how to make sure my little is a good human and doesn’t turn out to the next case study on How to Make a Murderer, the worries have become endless. I’m so glad I have crystals and meditate because whew chile, the pressure.
In other news, We’re having our Gender Reveal on January 18th and I am dying to find out more about my little human. I’m just grateful this little light chose me. I’m thankful that my body is strong enough to do this. Especially after having a miscarriage. I’m looking forward to documenting this whole process so keep an eye out on here and my youtube channel I get sad about how little documentation there was of my life as a baby and toddler and I want to make sure this baby knows how loved and wanted and celebrated they are.