I Cried During My First Reiki Session


A couple of weeks ago one of my close friends mentioned her Reiki session to me. She was adamant that I needed to experience this and made me promise to look into it. Four days later I had my own session booked with Kibby of Red Stone Healing.

When I had gotten off the phone with Lule, fueled by the story of her own session, I began a deep dive into finding out what exactly Reiki is. From my research, I came to recognize Reiki as being a form of alternative medicine with a specific focus on promoting relaxation and releasing stress. This can sometimes result in physical and mental ailments being treated or their symptoms lessened. However, with so many different practitioners, there can be many other uses for Reiki. The word itself is Japanese and translates to being the “life energy that flows through all living things”. You. Me. The trees. We all have Reiki.

Now, let’s get into my session. When I walked into Kibby’s space on September 4th I could feel the energy in the room. Or maybe it was just the frantic beating of my own heart, heavy with curiosity and even a small tinge of fear. Her walls were adorned with Native American artifacts. I saw real eagle feathers and I’m not gonna lie, I was in awe. I knew what was coming even though I had no idea. Kibby and I made introductions. She told me of how her children had prompted her to start her own practice. How they had found the office and decorated it for her. They removed her fears about starting her own practice by handling the whole process. All Kibby had to do was show up and work her magic, literally. Kibby’s background is Native American and her clairvoyance manifests itself in dreams and in animal spirit guides. She uses all her talents to help deliver Reiki healings. I told her of my openness to energies and my environment. How my friend told me to come and how I was curious to see what would come up for me. She told me to focus on what I wanted to know but to not be surprised if something completely different presents itself. I went in with an open heart.  subconciously pleading with the Universe to speak to me.

Kibby started our session by presenting a small sheet of paper. It’s perforated edge announcing that it had been ripped from a notebook. Before handing me the sheet she read aloud what she had written. Explaining that when she tried to prepare for our session, these are the images that came up about me.

A Pencil with a dull edge

If you’re reading this post right now then this one should almost immediately make sense. However, if you know me personally, you’ll understand why this particular image is so powerful. I’m a writer. A storyteller. Only, I can’t write. At least that’s been the case over the past few years. Writing has been hard. My pencil, dull. My words a bit foggy. Or maybe it’s my brain that’s foggy and my pencil, just can’t make out the words to clearly transcribe them. I’m only now starting to remember how to sharpen the lead after having my session. When Kibby said this I broke into tears right there. Like, damn, it’s only been 4 minutes and I’m already receiving!

Weight of the World

This one I understood to be more of how I interact with the world around me. Who I am every day. Again, if you know me personally, this already makes sense. I am one of those people whose mood is heavily influenced by the environment and the people around me. This means that every day I have to find ways to ground myself in my own emotions as well as build walls so that I am not at the beck and call of every emotion around me. You ever watch any vampire movie or tv show ever and they always mention how being a vampire is like feeling everything a human feels but 100 times harder? Yeah? Well, that’s what it’s like being an Empath. Instead of sucking your blood, I end up sucking up all your happy and your sad 100 times harder. When the vampires have had enough of all their human feelings, they go deep into their minds and “flip the switch”. They turn off their humanity and literally feel nothing. Nada. Which is in turn what makes them so aggressive and dangerous and why they kill everything, but I digress. Well, for me to exist in my own feelings, I have to flip my own switch. I don’t turn off my humanity or anything, although some people walking this planet make it particularly appealing, I just make sure to physically envision myself wrapped in this pulsing gold light. It pulses from my toes into the soil and coils the length of my body until it bursts through the top of my head, shooting far into space. Trust me, it took years to keep myself wrapped in this light and even still it manages to dim in some areas and crack like porcelain when I am not diligent. Sometimes the weight of the world is too heavy a burden to bear and that’s typically how I slip into depression.

Conductor/Orchestrating Events

This one is the most perplexing bit of information for me. The first thing that jumped out at me was being a leader. Someone others are looking to. This I’ve heard before. From every manager, teacher, professor and friend I have ever had. In one way or the other, they all mention me controlling the “emotional temperature” of my environment. Up until Kibby mentioned this during my session, I have been living my life in direct opposition of this. I would get pissed off whenever someone would say this to me. What do you mean I control things?! I can barely figure out what I’m doing and how to make a salary larger than my student loan balance! I control NOTHING! I only just accepted the responsibility of potentially being a leader and that still comes with a few hiccups. The second meaning I pull from this is control over the actual events that happen in my life. This also resonates with me because almost every Tarot reading I’ve ever had has had The Magician card pulled at some point. The Magician has the ability to control her situation and success. All the resources are at her disposable, she just needs to tap into it. My third thought is that maybe it’s a message about the future me and who I can become if I just give in and accept.

Those three things started my session. Within the first 7 minutes of meeting Kibby she had already given me much more than I was prepared for. The rest of the session was no different. She told me of an ancestor who has always walked with me. A man. He is very very very tall. When he was alive he towered over people. He walks on my left. This made my blood run hot. Sometimes, when I’m struggling terribly with a decision or I’m unsure if something is safe, I’ll feel this fanning in my left ear. It’s as if someone is standing next to me and waving their hand vigorously near my ear. When I was younger it was annoying. As I got older, when my depression is in full swing, and I’m not as connected with myself, the fanning is dull. Almost like it can’t penetrate the fog I’ve created. After Kibby, I now have a better idea of what or who it is.

I also have a couple of animal spirit guides of my own. A bird, Kibby was unsure of the type but saw it flying around the room. A bat. The bat lives in my lower back and is responsible for my awareness. You know that radar bats use to get around? Well, I’ve got a bit of that too. I’m hyperaware of feelings and energies around me. This allows me the ability to navigate different groups of people and personalities. I’m also not too bad at navigating the physical world and unfamiliar places so that’s not too bad either. It also helps me understand how I’m able to pick up my belongings and just relocate to different states on my own.

When Kibby asked the Creator where I could go to talk to my ancestors, a tree, the ocean, that kind of thing, she was shown the night sky. My ancestors are amongst the stars. I’m not sure what this means yet. Kibby seemed very surprised when she was given that information. She was also shown that I can “See”. I know what she meant by this but I’m still working through it. Last Summer I was approached by a man who worked a temp position at my job. He told me that I had the same gift as him. That I could See and that I shouldn’t be afraid of it when it starts to manifest itself. After that conversation I never saw him again.

My Reiki session with Kibby has changed everything, yet everything still remains the same. And maybe thats where my current struggle comes from. I feel like a door has been opened and I’m trying to get to it but the normalcy of my day to day life keeps me firmly planted. I am trying to navigate having a huge responsibility dropped on me while still trying to be a #snack wearing cycling shorts to clubs and drinking mimosas at brunch. Is it possible to still be a baddie, to be charismatic, slightly indulgent in the habits of other millenials my age, and also vibrate on a higher plane? So that’s where I’m at now. I have been given all this new information and The Universe is saying, well, I’ve given it to you, now what are you gonna do with it?

Here’s Kibby’s info: Red Stone Healing
I highly recommend going to her if you’re in Seattle. Mention me if you stop by and I would love to know how your session goes if you wanna talk about it.

4 responses to “I Cried During My First Reiki Session”

  1. Monet says:

    Now, I’m interested in finding out more about a session! Great share. Wow Dev, I can feel the impact and your pen to paper vibes are on point. Great read!

    • Devonnie Black says:

      Thanks Babe! 🙈 you know I’m trying to get back into it. 💕 but you should definitely DEFINITELY do reiki.

  2. Tausha says:

    Divine reflection, I am very interested in your Reiki healer as she seems to have great intuition. You truly are remarkable Dev, thanks for this amazing read and your being!


    • Devonnie Black says:

      Awww thanks babe! Definitely check her out if you have a chance. I’m gonna go back for another reading with her.

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