I’ve been trying to write this post for a little over a week. Doubting its timing and whether or not my two cents would be valuable. I am the first to admit that I am the biggest blocker of my own blessings. My obsessive critique of my own work leaves me with an unpleasant but very familiar taste in my mouth. When it comes to creating, I can never see the forest for all the trees. I over-analyze everything. Harping on ‘what if’s’ and ‘what could be’ as if they have already been set in stone. Reminding myself of all the reasons why it may not work instead of taking the risk and finding out.
I’ve always recognized the magnitude and weight of my words and thoughts. Being loyal to that knowledge is another story altogether. It has only been within the last year or so that I have truly tried being connected to my words and thoughts in the form of manifesting things in my life. Manifestation is hard. It takes diligence, faith and most importantly, a grateful outlook on life. In 2018, these things can be difficult to cultivate but they are almost critical in order to call forth certain things in your life. Even in all the chaos surrounding us I can still make out the faint silver glimmers outlining the moments of my life that I have created simply by asking the Universe, (which actually brings me to another conversation about hope. There is always hope.) However, this particular moment is about manifestation so, I digress.
My late 20’s has been peppered with the results of me manifesting things long before I knew what it meant to do so. When graduating High School, I only applied to a small number of colleges. There was only one school I wanted to go to and I put all my energy into being accepted there. I graduated from Purchase College with a Bachelor degree in Theatre & Performance four years later. Towards the end of college, when I envisioned the beginning “of the rest of my life” I saw it in warm weather. I moved to California in a pretty spur of the moment fashion and have been exploring new places ever since. My list could go on and on. I hadn’t truly realized this gift until this year.
For some context, I love tarot readings. Everyone who knows me already knows that I have a high emotional intelligence and my intuition is pretty bomb, but years of neglect, stress and anxiety has definitely dampened my connection to my intuition. I get a couple of readings a year and the place I go to costs $55 each session, it gets really expensive to ask the Universe questions. I love the way readings make me feel and I’m less of a “tell me the future” kinda girl and more the “I need help making a decision” type.
When I was having trouble writing this, I kept feeling like something was missing or I didn’t like the tone of the text. I wondered if I was rambling, would people understand what I’m trying to say? Yesterday, I took a stroll around Capitol Hill here in Seattle. Aimlessly walking the streets in the heat, or so I thought. Since I returned home from my trip to Jamaica in July, something has been nagging me to go to one of my favorite bookstores here. So when my feet carried me there I was surprised but could also feel some form of satisfaction for going. The Elliot Bay Book Company gives me all the feels. I had no intention of buying anything though. Sometimes I just like being there. Smelling the books (and the coffee because there’s a cute little cafe in the back) There I was, walking around the store. Touching spines and covers as I went. Making mental notes of authors to look into and checking off books I’d already read. I had just ordered a Lyft to take me back home after my 35 minute perusal when I passed by the glass casing at checkout. There, in the left corner was a painted tarot card. The Empress. I stepped closer to examine the card and something told me “this one”. I asked the cashier to take them out for me so I could take a closer look and I know it sounds creepy and crazy as hell but staring at the deck of cards gave me this overwhelming feeling of right place, right time. Of course I tried to ignore it. The deck was $48 (twice the price of the other decks in the case) and did I really need Tarot cards? That’s half of my phone bill, more than a full tank of gas, a pedicure, a couple cocktails…plus, I don’t even know how to use them! My phone alerted me to my driver pulling up so I hurriedly handed my card to the cashier and left with my new deck.
I can’t explain why, but having this deck for the past few hours has greatly recharged my intuition. I find myself shuffling and cutting the deck constantly. Making my intention very clear every time I pull one. So far, every card has been spot on for the questions I’ve asked. I also pulled some that made me realize that for me to exist happily on this planet, in this world, I have to remain in connection with my intuition and what better way to do so than using my beautiful new deck? Writing my wants down as well as meditating on them have also given me quite the return on my investment. If you knew you controlled teh key to your Universe, what would you use it to unlock?
Every reading I’ve ever had has had “The Magician”card pulled. The Magician is the card associated with manifestation, success and coming into ones full power. When I opened my deck for the first time, the magician was the only card to fall out, face up.
The Universe truly does give you exactly what you need.